Vicki Diemert
Trauma-Informed Story Work/Faith, Relationship & Emotional Healing Coach
About
Vicki Diemert
Trauma-Informed Christian Coach for Individuals and Couples
Founder of The Healing Narrative
Founder of The Healing Narrative
Hi, I’m Vicki Diemert.
I’m a trauma-informed Christian coach who helps individuals and couples make sense of emotional pain, relational struggles, church hurt, and experiences of betrayal and infidelity—through a narrative-focused, trauma-informed approach to healing.
I’m a trauma-informed Christian coach who helps individuals and couples make sense of emotional pain, relational struggles, church hurt, and experiences of betrayal and infidelity—through a narrative-focused, trauma-informed approach to healing.
With training in biblical counseling, trauma-informed care, trauma-informed couples therapy, and Narrative Focused Trauma Care™, I guide people through a process that goes beyond insight—into real, lasting transformation.
Because healing doesn’t happen by ignoring your story.
It happens by understanding it.
It happens by understanding it.
My Approach to Healing and Transformation
This work is grounded in a process I use with every client:
Safety → Story → Understanding → Naming Shame & Grieving → Impact & Responsibility → Practice → Transformation
This process helps you understand your story—and how it’s still shaping your relationships today.
In this work, we:
• explore your family of origin and key relational experiences
• understand how core beliefs, shame, and protective strategies were formed
• identify patterns like over-functioning, shutting down, controlling, or avoiding
• name and grieve what was never acknowledged or repaired
• examine how those strategies are impacting your relationships today
• take responsibility without shame and move toward repair
• practice new ways of relating—with yourself, others, and God
• understand how core beliefs, shame, and protective strategies were formed
• identify patterns like over-functioning, shutting down, controlling, or avoiding
• name and grieve what was never acknowledged or repaired
• examine how those strategies are impacting your relationships today
• take responsibility without shame and move toward repair
• practice new ways of relating—with yourself, others, and God
Healing is not just understanding why you do what you do.
It’s also recognizing how it affects the people you love—and learning how to show up differently.
It’s also recognizing how it affects the people you love—and learning how to show up differently.
Because your reactions are not random.
They were formed in a story that makes sense.
They were formed in a story that makes sense.
And when that story is understood with compassion,
real transformation becomes possible.
real transformation becomes possible.
This process helps you:
• understand why your reactions make sense (instead of shaming them)
• identify patterns in relationships and emotional responses
• process unresolved pain and grief
• begin showing up differently—with clarity and integrity
• identify patterns in relationships and emotional responses
• process unresolved pain and grief
• begin showing up differently—with clarity and integrity
Because real change doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from being understood, cared for, and engaged differently.
It comes from being understood, cared for, and engaged differently.
What Is Trauma-Informed Christian Coaching for Individuals and Couples?
Trauma-informed Christian coaching is a process that helps individuals and couples understand emotional pain through a biblical, relational, and nervous-system-aware lens.
Often, the guidance people receive sounds spiritual but doesn’t actually help them understand why something still affects them:
“Just forgive.”
“Don’t dwell on the past.”
“Trust God and move forward.”
“Don’t dwell on the past.”
“Trust God and move forward.”
While these statements may carry truth, they often fail to address the deeper story shaping your reactions, fears, and relationships.
This is where story work becomes essential.
This is where story work becomes essential.
I help people explore the experiences that shaped how they see themselves, others, and God—so they can move toward healing with clarity rather than shame or confusion.
This approach is especially helpful for people navigating anxiety, relationship conflict, betrayal, emotional numbness, or feeling stuck in patterns they don’t fully understand.
Trauma-Informed Couples Coaching for Betrayal and Infidelity
I work with individuals and couples navigating betrayal, infidelity, and broken trust—helping them understand both the impact of what’s happened and the path toward repair.
In this work, we focus on:
• understanding how past wounds shape present relationship dynamics
• making sense of protective patterns rather than shaming them
• creating space for honesty, responsibility, and repair
• rebuilding trust through consistency—not pressure
• making sense of protective patterns rather than shaming them
• creating space for honesty, responsibility, and repair
• rebuilding trust through consistency—not pressure
Because forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same—and healing requires more than being told to “move on.”
Why This Work Matters
My work is grounded in Narrative Focused Trauma Care™ (Allender Center)—a framework that understands healing not simply as gaining new information, but as engaging your story with honesty, curiosity, and compassion.
As people begin to understand their story, something shifts:
• confusing emotional reactions begin to make sense
• relational patterns become clearer
• shame loosens its grip
• faith becomes integrated with emotional life
• relational patterns become clearer
• shame loosens its grip
• faith becomes integrated with emotional life
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of walking with people navigating:
• relational betrayal and infidelity
• church hurt and spiritual confusion
• difficult family dynamics
• lingering emotional pain from earlier life experiences
• patterns in relationships that feel difficult to change
• church hurt and spiritual confusion
• difficult family dynamics
• lingering emotional pain from earlier life experiences
• patterns in relationships that feel difficult to change
And many discover something deeply relieving:
Your reactions are not random.
Your story makes sense.
And healing is possible.
Your story makes sense.
And healing is possible.
A Starting Point
Many people come to this work after years of trying to move forward spiritually while still carrying questions about their story.
You don’t need to have everything figured out to begin.
In our work together, we approach your story with curiosity, compassion, and respect for your pace—nothing forced, nothing rushed.
And over time, many experience:
• greater clarity
• emotional steadiness
• deeper freedom in both their relationships and faith
• emotional steadiness
• deeper freedom in both their relationships and faith
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re wondering whether this work could help you or your relationship, the next step is a simple conversation.
We’ll explore what you’re experiencing and whether this approach is a good fit.
Many people leave this conversation with greater clarity—
even if they decide not to move forward.
even if they decide not to move forward.
Walking with you,
Vicki
Vicki
Packages
Free Discovery Call
A 30-minute space to slow down, gain clarity on what you need help with, and explore if this work is a good fit for you.
Ask about the affordable long term group + individual option!
Ask about the affordable long term group + individual option!
If you’re ready to understand why you feel stuck—
and begin moving toward real change—
and begin moving toward real change—
We’ll talk through what you’re experiencing and whether this work is a good fit for you.
60-Minute 1:1 Session
A 60-minute guided space to explore patterns, reactions, relationships, and unresolved experiences so you can better understand how your story has shaped you, untangle confusion, and identify what may be keeping you stuck. Together, we will explore what your emotions, relationships, and reactions may be communicating, creating space for greater self-awareness, healing, meaningful change, and movement forward.
5 session package
Healing and growth often happen through consistency. This package includes 5 sessions at a 10% discounted rate for those wanting dedicated space to explore patterns, build insight, and move toward lasting change.
Marriage Coaching
Marriage coaching that helps couples better understand relational patterns, strengthen communication, explore the impact of personal story, and move toward healthier connection through a faith-based and trauma-informed lens.
Group Coaching
An 8-week guided story group to help you understand what’s shaping your emotions, relationships, and faith, so you can move forward with clarity. Includes 2 private 1:1 sessions for deeper support.
Guided Relational Restoration Process
Are you looking for a structured and supportive process to work through relational pain, unresolved conflict, or rupture with a friend, family member, church relationship, or important person in your life? This guided and neutral process creates space to be heard, clarify concerns, work toward collaborative goals, and explore pathways toward repair, understanding, and restoration.
Testimonials
"Working with Vicki helped me understand reactions I’ve had for years that I could never quite explain. I had prayed about certain struggles and tried to move forward, but the patterns kept repeating. Through our conversations, I began to see how earlier experiences were shaping how I interpreted situations and responded to people. What surprised me most was how compassionate the process felt. Instead of feeling judged or analyzed, I felt understood. That alone brought a sense of relief and clarity I hadn’t experienced before."
- — Coaching Client
"Vicki has a way of listening that helps you hear your own story differently. I came in feeling confused about why certain situations in my life were still affecting me so deeply. She helped me slow down and look at experiences I had mostly pushed aside. For the first time, the emotional patterns I was struggling with actually started to make sense. Our work together helped me approach my faith and my emotions with more honesty and less pressure to simply ‘get over it.’"
- -Individual Coaching Client
"One of the most meaningful parts of working with Vicki was the sense of safety she created. I never felt rushed to share more than I was ready to, yet the questions she asked helped me see connections in my story that I had never considered before. It helped me understand why certain relationships felt so difficult and why some situations triggered such strong responses. I left our sessions with a deeper sense of clarity and a more compassionate view of my own story."
- Coaching Client
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I feel emotionally numb as a Christian?
Emotional numbness is often a protective response developed over time, especially when pain hasn’t been acknowledged or cared for. It’s not a sign of weak faith—it’s a sign your story needs attention.
WHY DO I FEEL EMOTIONALLY NUMB AS A CHRISTIAN?
WHY DO I FEEL EMOTIONALLY NUMB AS A CHRISTIAN?
Feeling emotionally numb as a Christian is more common than people admit.
You may still believe in God.
You may still be showing up, praying, reading your Bible.
You may still be showing up, praying, reading your Bible.
But inside, something feels distant, muted, or shut down.
Emotional numbness isn’t a sign that your faith is failing.
It’s often a sign that your story hasn’t been fully understood or cared for.
It’s often a sign that your story hasn’t been fully understood or cared for.
WHAT DOES EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS FEEL LIKE?
You might feel:
- Disconnected from your emotions
- Unable to access joy, sadness, or even anger
- Exhausted from trying to “feel something” again
- Confused about why your faith feels flat
- Like you’re going through the motions but not fully present
And maybe what’s been most disorienting…
Is that no one has helped you make sense of it.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS?
Emotional numbness is not the absence of feeling.
It’s the presence of protection.
It’s the presence of protection.
At some point, your body and mind learned that feeling deeply was:
- unsafe
- overwhelming
- or unsupported
So instead of continuing to feel pain without care…
Your system adapted by turning the volume down.
WHY DO CHRISTIANS EXPERIENCE EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS?
Many Christians have been taught—directly or indirectly:
- Emotions can’t be trusted
- Faith means moving on quickly
- Forgiveness should be immediate
- Struggling emotionally reflects weak faith
So instead of being helped in their pain…
They learned to:
- suppress it
- spiritualize it
- or ignore it
This is often called spiritual bypassing—using spiritual language to avoid emotional reality instead of engaging it.
WHY DO I STILL FEEL STUCK EVEN WHEN I PRAY?
You can’t heal what hasn’t been understood.
If your pain was:
- dismissed
- minimized
- or rushed past
Then your system is still carrying it—even if your mind is trying to move on.
That’s why:
- more prayer doesn’t always change it
- more effort doesn’t fix it
- more knowledge doesn’t resolve it
Because healing requires more than insight.
HOW DO I HEAL FROM EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS AS A CHRISTIAN?
Healing begins when your story is approached differently.
Through a trauma-informed Christian coaching process, you begin to:
- Understand what shaped your responses
- Recognize the protective patterns you developed
- Make sense of your emotions instead of dismissing them
- Engage your story with honesty, curiosity, and compassion
This process follows a pathway:
Safety → Understanding → Naming & Grieving → Practice → Transformation
As your story is cared for, your capacity to feel begins to return.
Not all at once.
But slowly, safely, and meaningfully.
But slowly, safely, and meaningfully.
IS EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS A LACK OF FAITH?
No.
If you feel numb, it does not mean:
- you don’t love God
- you’re doing faith wrong
- you’ve failed spiritually
It means something in your story needs attention.
And healing doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from being understood.
Why Faith Alone Hasn’t Felt Like Enough
Many Christians are taught:
- Emotions can’t be trusted
- Healing is a decision
- Forgiveness should be immediate
But Scripture shows us something different.
Jesus didn’t bypass pain.
He entered it.
He named it.
He responded to people with presence—not pressure.
He entered it.
He named it.
He responded to people with presence—not pressure.
If your faith feels disconnected from your emotional life,
it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
It’s because you were never shown how to integrate the two.
Does forgiveness mean I have to trust again?
No. Forgiveness and trust are not the same. Trust is rebuilt through honesty, consistency, and repair—not simply granted.
What is spiritual bypassing and why it keeps you stuck
WHAT IS SPIRITUAL BYPASSING? (AND WHY IT KEEPS YOU STUCK)
Spiritual bypassing is when spiritual language or beliefs are used to avoid emotional pain instead of helping you move through it.
It often sounds like faith.
It often looks like obedience.
It often looks like obedience.
But instead of bringing healing…
It keeps you disconnected from your story, your emotions, and sometimes even from God. Spiritual bypassing may feel like faith—but real healing begins when your story is no longer avoided.
WHAT DOES SPIRITUAL BYPASSING LOOK LIKE?
Spiritual bypassing can sound like:
- “Just pray more”
- “Just forgive and move on”
- “God is in control, so don’t dwell on it”
- “Everything happens for a reason”
- “You shouldn’t feel that way”
These statements aren’t always wrong.
But when they’re used to avoid pain instead of engage it…
They can leave you feeling:
- dismissed
- confused
- alone in your suffering
WHY DO CHRISTIANS USE SPIRITUAL BYPASSING?
Most people don’t do this intentionally.
It often comes from:
- Discomfort with emotions
- Lack of understanding around trauma and the body
- A desire to help quickly
- Misunderstanding what faith actually requires
So instead of slowing down and entering someone’s pain…
We reach for quick spiritual answers.
WHY SPIRITUAL BYPASSING IS HARMFUL
Spiritual bypassing doesn’t remove pain.
It disconnects you from it.
And what isn’t processed doesn’t disappear—it stays in your body, your relationships, and your patterns.
This is why you might:
- Keep reacting the same way in relationships
- Feel stuck even after praying or forgiving
- Struggle to trust yourself or others
- Feel numb, overwhelmed, or shut down
Because the root issue hasn’t been cared for.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE ACTUALLY SHOW US?
Jesus did not bypass pain.
He entered it.
He asked questions.
He named what was happening.
He responded with presence—not pressure.
He named what was happening.
He responded with presence—not pressure.
He wept.
He grieved.
He allowed people to tell the truth about their experience.
He grieved.
He allowed people to tell the truth about their experience.
Biblical healing is not about avoiding pain.
It’s about engaging it in the presence of God and others.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FAITH AND SPIRITUAL BYPASSING?
Spiritual bypassing says:
- “Move on quickly”
- “Don’t feel that”
- “Just trust God”
Healthy faith says:
- “Let’s understand what happened”
- “Your experience matters”
- “God meets you in your pain, not outside of it”
Faith doesn’t rush healing.
It creates space for it.
HOW DO I STOP SPIRITUAL BYPASSING?
Healing begins with slowing down.
Instead of asking:
“What should I do?”
“What should I do?”
Begin asking:
- What am I actually feeling?
- What happened that led to this?
- What hasn’t been acknowledged or cared for?
Through a trauma-informed Christian coaching process, you begin to:
- Understand your emotional responses
- Identify where your pain has been bypassed
- Learn how to engage your story honestly
- Experience healing that includes both faith and emotion
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STOP BYPASSING YOUR PAIN?
When your story is finally engaged instead of avoided:
- Your emotions begin to make sense
- Your reactions become less confusing
- Your relationships begin to shift
- Your connection with God deepens
Because you’re no longer avoiding your experience…
You’re bringing it into the light.
ABOUT MY APPROACH
I’m Vicki Diemert, a trauma-informed Christian coach helping people of faith make sense of their emotional pain, relational struggles, and experiences of church hurt.
With training in biblical counseling, trauma-informed care, and narrative-focused trauma work, I guide people through a process that goes beyond insight—into real, lasting transformation.
My approach integrates both faith and emotional health, because healing doesn’t happen by ignoring your story—it happens by understanding it.
This work is grounded in a process I use with every client:
Safety → Understanding → Naming & Grieving → Practice → Transformation
Because real change doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from being understood, cared for, and engaged differently.
It comes from being understood, cared for, and engaged differently.
READY TO BEGIN?
If you’re ready to experience healing that doesn’t bypass your story:
👉 Schedule a free call:
https://calendly.com/thehealingnarrativecoach/30min
https://calendly.com/thehealingnarrativecoach/30min
Is this faith-based?
Yes. My work integrates emotional healing with Christian faith.
Many people who come to me love their faith but feel confused about how to understand emotional pain, past experiences, or relational wounds within that context. My approach honors both faith and emotional reality without forcing people to choose between the two.
What is narrative-focused story work?
Narrative-focused story work helps people explore the experiences that shaped how they see themselves, others, and God.
Narrative-focused story work helps people understand the experiences that shaped their emotional patterns, beliefs, and relationships.
Rather than focusing only on current problems, story work looks at the larger themes within a person’s life story. This often helps individuals see connections between past experiences and present reactions, bringing clarity and reducing shame.
Many emotional reactions and relational patterns make more sense when we understand the deeper themes in our story. Rather than simply trying to “move on,” this work helps people develop clarity, compassion for themselves, and greater freedom in how they respond to life and relationships.
Who is narrative-focused trauma-informed coaching for?
This type of work is often helpful for people who:
- feel emotionally stuck in certain patterns
- want to understand their reactions in relationships
- have experienced church hurt or spiritual confusion
- want emotional healing that respects their Christian faith
- feel that past experiences still influence their present life
- have experienced abuse, harm or betrayal
What is trauma-informed Christian coaching?
Trauma-informed Christian coaching helps people explore emotional patterns, past experiences, and relational dynamics in a way that respects how the nervous system and memory work.
This approach recognizes that emotional reactions are often connected to earlier life experiences. Instead of simply focusing on behavior change or spiritual advice, trauma-informed coaching helps individuals understand the deeper story shaping their responses.
What is my framework?
Healing happens through a clear, trauma-informed, narrative-based process that helps you understand your story, your patterns, and how they impact your relationships.
My framework is:
Safety → Story → Understanding → Naming Shame & Grieving → Impact & Responsibility → Practice → Transformation
Each step builds on the next:
Safety
Your story is approached with care, curiosity, and compassion—not correction or pressure.
Your story is approached with care, curiosity, and compassion—not correction or pressure.
Story
We explore your family of origin, key life experiences, and relational wounds to understand what has shaped you.
We explore your family of origin, key life experiences, and relational wounds to understand what has shaped you.
Understanding
You begin to see why you think, feel, and respond the way you do—including core beliefs, shame, and protective strategies.
You begin to see why you think, feel, and respond the way you do—including core beliefs, shame, and protective strategies.
Naming Shame & Grieving
What happened to you is acknowledged and processed. You begin to name loss, pain, and the impact it has had on your identity.
What happened to you is acknowledged and processed. You begin to name loss, pain, and the impact it has had on your identity.
Impact & Responsibility
You gently examine how your patterns may be affecting your relationships—learning to take responsibility without shame and move toward repair.
You gently examine how your patterns may be affecting your relationships—learning to take responsibility without shame and move toward repair.
Practice
You begin showing up differently in real relationships—with greater clarity, honesty, and integrity.
You begin showing up differently in real relationships—with greater clarity, honesty, and integrity.
Transformation
Change becomes natural—not forced—as your story is understood and new ways of relating take root.
Change becomes natural—not forced—as your story is understood and new ways of relating take root.
This framework is especially helpful for people navigating:
- relationship conflict or disconnection
- betrayal or infidelity
- church hurt or spiritual confusion
- anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or feeling “stuck”
- patterns in relationships that don’t seem to change
Because real healing doesn’t come from trying harder.
It comes from understanding your story—and learning how to engage it differently.
Is this therapy?
No. My work is coaching and guided story engagement, not therapy or mental health treatment.
I help individuals explore emotional patterns, past experiences, and relational dynamics through a trauma-informed, narrative-focused framework. This work can bring clarity and understanding to the ways our story shapes how we experience life, relationships, and faith.
If you are currently seeking therapy for mental health treatment, working with a licensed therapist may be the most appropriate step.
Can I heal without revisiting my past?
Healing doesn’t require reliving everything—but it does require understanding what shaped you. Avoiding your story often keeps you stuck in it.
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